I Can See For Miles

Portman's Trail

I haven’t been on here to basically spill out what I’ve been thinking.

I have been a bit busy working.  I was working a ton for practically pennies.  The only reason I worked there was because it was just down the alley.  I was thinking long term, considering the pros and cons on a job close to home vs. a job where I have to drive to.  I chose the job closest to my home.  I thought that if something comes up, transportation wise, I would still be able to get to work without depending on others for a ride.  Nearby stores paid more, but this job was super close and had grocery discounts for employees.

I was working there since the end of March.  I worked there last Summer between semesters.  During the “winter”, I was begged to come back.  So… I did.  I worked as a Courtesy Clerk, which is a fancy word for being a cart pusher.  Contrary to most ideas about that position, it’s a physically demanding job.  I had to work through severe weather and extreme heat on pavement.  Since the employer (Kroger) hired nothing but children (literally), I had to do the heavy duty work.  It’s not that the kids work prohibited from doing hard work.  The Kroger Management never made the kids do anything worth breaking out into a sweat.  The kids would be scheduled to come outside for 30 minutes for carts at a time.  They would come in only minutes into the shift.  Yet…. nobody had the testicles to say anything about it except for me to finish their job and do mine.  Now I don’t want to sound like that kind of person who claims to be the person who does everything, but… I did.  I did to the point to where my body was fighting back against it.

During this tenure, I’ve hurt myself in a multitude of ways.  I’ve dislocated both of my wrists (partially due its hyper-mobility), bruised my shins, multiple traumas to my knees such as runner’s knee, popping it in and out slightly and minor things like twisting it.  I’ve also had hurt my back.  All signs for that is that I’m walking around with a herniated disc between my shoulder blades.  This is the worst pain I’ve felt so far.  I get the sensation that my pinky and ring finger has fallen asleep (fell asleep?).  I’ve gotten to the point that I can’t take as big of a breath because of the pain.

So, yeah, I’ve been working hurt.  I addressed this to management but to no avail.  The store manager asked how I was.  I told her that I’m in agony.  She said “Suck it up, that’s life”.  Seriously?  Coming from someone who sit comfortably in an office, rarely seen in the public.  Her attitude and the attitude of supervisors led me to leaving that place.  The newest supervisor said that I just stand around and refuse to do carts.  I’m always moving around working.  Moving so much, I’ve dropped 60 pounds.  In April, I was 327 pounds.  I’m 267 now.  I don’t think that the weight loss came from me socializing, like she does so well.  I quit because my body was on the verge of giving up.  Mentally, I was exhausted from the BS and lack of cooperation.  I hardly sleep because I’m in pain from the overworking.  I’ll go to bed around 3am, toss and turn and wake up at 11.  Sure, that’s eight hours, but large chunks is spend just lying there.  The lousy manager told my Dad that I quit without notice, even though I sent a complaint/”I Quit” letter to the HR manager days before.  Yes, I did quit.  I gave up.  I gave up on them because they gave up on me.  I wasn’t making much.  I was broke by the following Monday or Tuesday.  I figured that I’d be better taking a break, maybe donating plasma before the new semester began.

In the meantime, I’m relaxing (for once), listening to Earl Scruggs and playing my PlayStation 3.

The new semester is about to start.  Hopefully this is the final Fall Semester I have, that is unless I go to Graduate School.  Had everything gone to plan last Spring, this semester would have been somewhat easy.  But it didn’t so I’m having to take 19 credit hours.  If there is a higher power, he needs to give me a dang break… just this once.  If I pass this semester with flying colors, I’ll have a 10 credit hours for the Spring and I’m beyond giddy for that.

As mentioned before, I’m majoring in Urban Affairs.  The definition that I tell people is to think of the words Urban and Affairs.  It’s the dealings of the city.  Zoning, management of the city.  I have my theories and ideas.  One is something I call “Structural Recycling”.  I believe that the city could and should utilize the area they’re working on.  Many places are being torn down just to have something built in its place.  I think that if you use some of the pre-existing buildings and lot, you would save money and in turn, the city could use the money save for something like alternative energy.  Not to sound like a tree hugger, but it’s about time to use the space we’re already owning and use it to its potential.  Cut down the carbon footprint and go green.  Solar panels can be used for particular services, like gas stations and emergency services in case of an outage.  Saves on generators as well.

I have ideas like that and more… I just hope that maybe I can get something across to make it happen.  If so, this experience at Kroger won’t happen again.

I’m trying to see for miles in my future.  I’m trying to be optimistic.

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