A Life of Something More Than Nothing

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“Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end”

I had a newfound chip on my shoulder eight weeks ago.  It was the beginning of some new.  The overwhelming staleness of Earth Science and it’s department at Wright State was gone.  Anew was the visions I had for a career in the “real world”.  I had these ideas and theories running through my head.  I thought of innovation and beneficial programs and it all seemed to fit like a lovely educational 1000-piece puzzle.

The real world arrived.

Three days before the semester started, I got hit with the flu.  Getting hit was an understatement.  I got slammed by some virus.  My Dad said it could have been pneumonia.  Without insurance, I had one of two choices, go to the hospital and be in debt trying to repay them for their services or ride it out.  I tried to ride it out.  It wasn’t my inner miser taking control.  I thought it would have been out of my system in time.  Guess what?  It wasn’t.  I was out for 11 days.  Women have this assumption that men milk their illnesses for all it’s worth.  I read scientific articles that men do get sick worse and have trouble getting over it.  We’re not those strong women that can do anything.  Men have the disadvantage of being ill!

Anyways…

I was out and missed three classes of one specific class, four of two other classes. I was already behind and I hadn’t had a chance to step onto campus!  I finally returned to campus for the final day of the week.  My Dad picked me up around 5pm and when he tried to get out of the stellar parking lot, the car popped.  The car wasn’t right to begin with.  Prior to the beginning of the semester, the real issues of our car began to show.  When he turned and the car popped, we knew something was wrong.  The car began to whine and resist any long turns.  The steering was failing.  On top of that, we had a major gas leak.  So, forcing the wheel could break something.  When metal breaks, sparks form.  When sparks meet gas, well… you get the picture.

I went online and bought a Rack and Pinion.  This car helps with the steering.  Without that, nothing works.  You can reverse and go forward.  Turning is disabled.  I had spent $200.  We called the mechanic down the road and he said that all of the work would cost $400.  A total of $600.  It was a lot of money, but it was worth not blowing up!  With this, I started to get comfortable and relaxed.  I thought that I could go back to class and resume anything I had previously done prior to the vehicular mishap.  Guess what happened next?

REAL WORLD, B**CH!!!

The mechanic told us that the car was beyond repair.  The frame was too damaged and that if he had attempted to repair the rack and pinion, that the car would be finished because everything would have fallen apart right there.  It was like the rust was holding things together at the moment.  It was a $2,000 repair.  I didn’t have that kind of money.

I tried to explain things to my professor.  I asked for work to do from home and submit it through email.  I wanted to show them that I had a legitimate issue (I provide receipts) and they wouldn’t work with me.  I was willing to put forth more work and effort than I should so that I can pass, but that wasn’t good enough.  I don’t like to blame others for some things that happen in my life, but they’re probably going to be the reason I stand a very high chance of not graduating.

I don’t get why they will not work with me on issues like this.  After all, my loans are paying for their income.  Students are the reason they eat and have a place to go and sleep.  I am going into debt, paying for their class.  The least they could do is accommodate students in their desperate time of need.  But.. no.  I have to hitchhike or grow a set of wings and make it there just to listen to them parrot their PowerPoints.

As of now, I am not able to graduate.  I can’t.  I have two semesters of financial aid.  That’ll pay for all but three classes that I need.  My professor is suggesting that I drop the course.  That just irritates the F**K out of me.  She’s paid, so seeing me drop the course is obviously the logical thing to suggest.

I just cannot catch a break.  I tried to beg to the Department of Education about forgiving a portion of my loans due to hardship.  I’ve been attending college for eight years.  I had to stop doing what I was doing for the sake of my family.  I’m not complaining about helping them.  I didn’t have a problem helping out.  But, I had to stop.  I had to use some loans to pay some bills because we were broke.  The so-called biological mother was as useful as a  stump. She did not contribute.  So, with my Dad taking care of my ailing Grandmother and paying the mortgage, I tried to cover anything else that was needed.  That was my only method of income.  Adams County was (at the time) the second most unemployed county in the state, and this was at the peak of the recession.

I had explained that with this situation, having to move to Dayton because of the increasing debt of the house, and helping my parents that are disabled, that I’ve used my loans just to stay afloat.  I haven’t been doing too well financially.

It’s almost not an exaggeration.  I’m too poor to go to college.  The DOE told me to discuss this with my lender.  Makes sense, right?  I did discuss this with my lender.  They told me that they cannot do anything and that I have to discuss this with the Financial Aid office.  They (Wright State) told me to discuss this with the Lender.  The lender said that they’re not a lender.  They are too!  Are you confused?  So am I.

So I cannot get help.  I don’t know why.  I just want to graduate.  I don’t care if I have loan debt.  I just want to get a career and live a life above the realm of poverty.  Is that too much to ask?

This is the end.  The chances of living a life of something more than nothing is nothing more than a pipe-dream.

Of my elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end

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A Remembrance of My Homeland

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I come from Adams County, Ohio.

I come from a location that nobody outside of the tri-county area has heard of.  A predominately white and poor community, filled with retirees and welfare ridden country people.  Visually, this county is the best.  Adams County is probably the Mecca of all things nature.  From the valley of Manchester to the peaks of Peach Mountain in Peebles, or from the clusters of fossils in Brush Creek to the heights of Buzzards Roost.  Nature is the foundation of the county.  Sightseers from near and far roam the street, whether it’s intentional or not.  For the city folk, Miller’s Bakery is the place to go, followed by lunch at Cruiser’s Diner.  People from Indiana or cities like Cincinnati come to see the Amish, as if they have just entered into the country from a third world village in the middle of Europe.

My point?  Adams County is pretty.  The landscape is beautiful.  It is so quiet that you could hear trains six miles away.  It is just a peaceful place.  Not at a Mayberry level, but for Ohio standards, let’s take it.

Unfortunately, the beauty that is Adams County does nothing for the livelihood of the area.  The county has one of the highest amounts of unemployment in the entire state, sitting at 7.3% as of December 2016.  It ranks as the third poorest county.  Why?  Nothing happens.  Jobs tend to be handed to relatives and people are on disability.  On top of that, no major company wants to settle a semi-remote portion of the state.  A decent chunk of people farm.  The impact that has locally varies.  Some farmers are committed to serving to the surrounding areas, while others seek the areas that pay them the most.

Money is key in everyday life, and for the people of Adams County, it is spent elsewhere.  Aside from Walmart, where else can they go?  The answer to that is somewhere other than their hometown.  Any mall or entertainment is a good drive away.  What money that is produced in Adams County is spent somewhere else, so the circulation does not stick with the local economy.

 Right now, as I am typing this, news broke of the closure of the local power plants of DP&L.  The closure means lost jobs and lost monies.  With this, the county government is having to readjust the budget which will result in lost jobs of teachers, children services, emergency response teams such as EMT’s.  If you’re local to Ohio, you may have heard of the near obliteration of DHL leaving Wilmington.  A majority of that city worked at that single location, so when the company left, so did the jobs.  Away went people’s mortgages, food supply and things like that.  The same is about to happen to Adams County.  Millions of dollars will be lost and a county that was already broke to begin with will lose even more.

It breaks my heart.  I don’t know why the place has to go in its apparent direction.  The place has so much potential.  I cannot fully blame DP&L, mainly because I do not have the full details.  I blame the people in the governmental offices.

It’s all a matter of advertisement.  Show the benefits of Adams County.  Show that the county is more than scenery.  All that the touting of the scenery accomplishes is that the county has priorities in the wrong places.  People got on Social Security as a last resort because of the lack of options.  Is it fair for people to drive an hour or two to make very little to live on?  Bring factories, bring innovations.  Utilize the land.  Adams County has a high amount of clay.  Make something with pottery.  Invest and take a gamble in something that will boost the economy.  It is not fair to cut services because the county relied to heavily on one resource.

I left the county because of the stagnation of the area.  Life is moving at a snail’s pace.  While that’s great for crime or for the shear fact of tranquility, it does nothing for the progress of the area.  Investment is what the county needs.  You don’t want to break your leg and there’s nothing you can do but set it yourself.  It’s 2017.  It’s time that something happened for the benefits of economic growth.

President Twitter

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POTUS has a new meaning.

President of Officiating Twitter and the United States.

It is tiresome and irresponsible to be obligated to be on social media at least two times an hour when you’re supposed to be the leader of the “greatest country on Earth”.

We have a meme running the country, and it’s irritating to hear people stick up for him.  I have friends from my old hometown defending him by saying that we need to give him time.  Time for what?  He doesn’t have to be given time, especially the way he’s going.  The King of Twitter cannot stay off of that site.  Is he subconsciously addicted to it, or is he tweeting just to irk his “haters”?  Twitter is not the medium to convey messages.  It is inevitable that he will type something either classified or type something inappropriate and it’ll cause some major issues far exceeding the issues that he’s doing right now.

So, what is the purpose tweeting those broken and incomplete thoughts?  Go on Twitter and look at his page.  It’s nothing but repetition.  Trumples’ thoughts can be summed up from a few key points (if you call it that).

– Democrats are evil and ruined the country
– Olive skin is not good kin
– He’s a genius with “yuge” hands and a good brain (his words)
– He believes that he is the most successful businessman in the whole world

Let’s break this all down. Shall we?

Why blame just the Democrats?  We all know that neither the Democrats nor the Republicans can get anything done without flinging crap at each other.  Wait.. monkeys do that.  Eh, I digress.  Consider this, he was bouncing back and forth between parties.  He was a democrat for a while.  By simple assumptions, isn’t he part of the problem?

His hate of all things Muslim.  They’re terrorist. Boogie boogie boogie.  He wants to be so patriotic, or at least he wants us to think that.  So why single a group based on race?  Now I passed history with flying colors.  Think about this.  Hitler did the same thing!  The only thing separating the two is a concentration and an army of Nazis.  Terrorists comes in many shapes and colors.  We have terrorists that are white, American made and completely mentally melted.  Englishmen used bio-terrorism on Native Americans.  I guess we all need to flee to our homeland too, right?  Sounds crazy, and so does this ban.

He touts his intelligence as being superior to the average person, yet he cannot make sense, even if his life depended on it.  He’ll go thirty seconds talking about ISIS and suddenly we take a trip on The Trumples Express and listen to him ramble about golf.  At least with Bush, we got complete thoughts.  Bush wasn’t the greatest orator of his time, but he got his point across.  Trump speaks as if he had a stroke.  We don’t have ESP.  Embellish a bit, sir!

Finally, he is not a great businessman.  People believe that if we run this country like a business, things will be better.  For starters, it’s more than money.  It’s diplomacy.  It’s keeping peace between allies and keeping enemies at bay.  Sure, having an economical background is great too.  Trump was called out during the debates regarding some of his financial plans.  Experts proved that his theories were faulty and needed to be revised.  His reply?  “Wrong”.  That’s it?  He never did explain.

So what makes him a great businessman?  Donald Trump was bankrupt FIVE TIMES!  Where is it that shows that he’s a great man of business?  He said himself that he is audited all of the time.  He failed at his taxes!  So why should we take it to heart about his advise regarding taxes for the nation and why should we believe that he’s great at what he does?  Being bankrupt shows that it took six tries to get it right.  That’s five more than what we get!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a colossal failure in charge of our freedom.   Am I wrong?  Prove it and terms other than the wall.  That’s a cop out.  Besides, Mexican can float on a raft if they’re desperate enough..

Prove me wrong.

Nothing Happens

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Well this is my first post in over four weeks.  I’ve been here and there.  Not physically though.

I took a break mentally in December.  For twenty-two years, it’s either been work, school or a combination of both.  I needed a break for once.

The break that I had was not really helpful.  More depressing than I thought.  I did not do a single thing outside of going to Kroger to get food.  That is the highlight of my break between semesters.  I just couldn’t go anywhere.  My car (which was bought in August) is having a stroke.  I cannot learn to drive, which is probably the leading reason for my rapidly increased depression.  That and the loneliness that I feel all day, everyday.  My life is pretty much at the same point as it was before.  No movement.

College is disappointing.  For once, I was a little excited for an upcoming semester.  I am now an Urban Affairs major (not the field for baby daddies).  I have ideas (possibly innovative) and I thought that I could do something about it.  WRONG.

By-the-by, reading that back, it sounded like a tweet from President Trumples.

Anywho….

I thought I would be doing something.  No.  I am learning about Socrates and philosophy.  You’d think that one class could take care of that.  Two! Two classes!  One class is philosophy, which… duh.  The other is one of my Urban Affairs class.  Come on.  I don’t think that material like this has to be discussed in more than one class.

I thought that this would have been better.  Heck, I’ve went to two days worth of classes so far.  We’re in our fifth week.  First I’m badly sick with the flu, then my car catches it. That car locks up and the last thing I want to do is be in the middle of the highway and bam, the car locks up and an eighteen-wheeler comes right into the backseat.  Some of the professors don’t seem to care.  I’d like to come to class, but I can’t.  I’m not privileged enough to be handed a fully functional car.

I am behind and ahead in credit hours.  I’m speeding through my classes and my graduation is closer than before.  I’m behind because I went from 16 to 13 credit hours. Kind of.  I was taking Business Writing, but after the deadline for registration, I was advised to drop that course because I already took a similar class in 2009.  I’m getting the credit for that now.  Since that happened too late, I cannot put something in it’s place.  On top of that, I have to withdraw from one because of my absences.  This time it isn’t math.  It figures though.

I have a lot of free time now.  Four days off and two days of classes.  One day is 80 minutes long.  Do I have five days off?

Other than college, nothing’s going on.  I’m just sitting here… seeing all of the Valentine foo-foo.  Just another year of not having a Valentine and another notch on my never-ending link of depression.  I said to my Mom that this Valentine stuff is so irritating.  She said that I’ll meet the right girl, just give it time.  She added that I’ve been too focused on school.  Noooooo… see paragraph above.  I’m doing nothing!  And this whole “it’ll happen” thing is such an irritating thing to hear.  I’m in my mid-twenties.  I haven’t had a girlfriend in eight years.  I haven’t had a girlfriend since George W. Bush was President!!!

For starters, I’m rusty.  I don’t know how to approach anyone.  I have my eye on someone and then they slip from my sight and that’s that.  Nothing happens.  I don’t want to be that big goober that blurts out something awful.  I just don’t know what to do there.

So…. that’s me right now.  Just sitting around watching life go by.  Getting more and more depressed as time goes on.  As I said to someone, I have the social life of a sloth.  I hardly talk to people.  I don’t do anything.  It’s home life 24/7.  It’s frustrating.  What can I do?  Podcasts?  Yeah.. I don’t like listening to myself talk to myself.

 

I need help.

 

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The United Sheep of America

I cannot stress enough that I am just an average guy in the middle of a Midwestern no-happening state.

I seemed to have an interest in the recent Presidential election. It was strange. Candidates were coming from every direction imaginable, half of whom were completely unknown.

Prior to the race, I thought that we will have a good election. Some of the candidates from both ends had credible people capable of being the Commander in Chief. You had established Governors and Senator who had valid points. It was going good!  I honestly thought that Donald Trump bidding for President was just a gag, just to see what people would say.

I was wrong!

Fast forward through the race. The Republican Party widdled down to a sloppy mess. Trump, along with Cruz and Kasich was the last of the Party.  Before hand, Trump was calm. He made points uniquely his own. By the time the Party was down to a select three, Trump morphed into bully with the temperament of an 12 year old. He was making crude remarks towards everyone and everything. It was amazing that he didn’t call his opponents a big doodie face.

Primaries occurred. Trumples beat out the entire Republican Party.  I was disappointed. I was hoping for Governor Kasich.  He was calm. He was collected. He was the most EXPERIENCED! Kasich had taken Ohio from a collousal mess to a state of hope and potential. He added the 400,000 jobs, which happened to be the amount lost by his predecessor. The economy grew to high standards. Had he been elected, we could have seen a prosperous four years.

When Trump got the bid, I knew that America would do something that was done eight years ago. I know that what I am about to say might be controversial.  Obama, in my opinion, was elected as President because people wanted to make history. He was elected because he is African American. McCain was credible and logical. He wasn’t erratic.  Where did he go wrong? Obama’s opponent in his second race had been a polar opposite of what McCain was. Romney was poor in his economic recovery and had the credibility of a shoe.  Seemingly, Obama won by default.

This election seemed to have that theme again. People were too busy whining about emails that they weren’t listening to the real concerns. People wanted a celebrity with money and not someone who has experience. They wanted to make history and not go with qualified professionals.  Logic had waived bye-bye.  Bernie Sanders only lost because he pegged himself as a socialist, and nobody listened to his proposals. He’s a Socialist, not a Communist. FDR WAS A SOCIALIST. Anyone with half a brain recalls the progress he made. But…. This is just a country with priorities in the wrong spot.

I end this by saying that America needs to feel accountable for any wrong doings that’ll happen in the upcoming term.  Cotton Candy Hair himself has no filter. He’s not even in office and he’s causing predicable trouble.  When we’re deep in the heart of turmoil, I want everyone who chose him to have the biggest guilt and shame in knowing that their misguided practical joke cost us the safety of America.

Make a meme of that.

World Heavyweight Champion… of Lists

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I thought I would create a blog of something a little more different.

I… am a fan of professional wrestling.  Yes, I know.  You believe that wrestling is fake and isn’t a real sport.  It’s a bunch of real athletes in the world of entertainment and believe it or not, people do get hurt.

I’ve been watching wrestling all of my life.  Being born in 1990, I witnessed the “Monday Night Wars”, which showcased two promotions airing their premiere show at the same time, live on Monday nights.  WCW and WWE (then WWF) did this from 1995 until 2001 when WCW went out of business.  It wasn’t until later on in my life that I had become a fan of older wrestling.  Later in my life as in whenever I had the chance of going to Movie Gallery (better than Blockbuster) and getting the VHS tapes (so archaic).  Back then, the best promotion was the NWA (predecessor to WCW).  You had the best matches not tied to gimmicks and had the best people on the mic.

My knowledge is quite huge of wrestling, that is if you’re not including independent promotions and foreign companies like in the UK or Japan.  Below is a list on my favorite World Heavyweight Champions.

1.)  Ric Flair.
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16-time World Heavyweight Champion.  The number is really in the twenties but a lot of the promotions do not recognize some of the title changes because it was of no real importance.  Mainly to please the local hero.  The “Nature Boy” had a career spanning four decades, showing the world that he can still go against people half his age.  Slick Ric (in his prime) was giving 60-minute matches more often than anyone else.  He was the hardest working wrestler and his promos back him up.  He talked a good game because he was able to live up to his word.  One of really a handful of men that had the ability to have the fans emotionally involved through wrestling and promos.  I met him and got his autograph in 2015.  Best. Day. Ever!  Woooo!

2.)  Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat
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The Dragon had to be the hardest worker after Flair.  Steamboat was poetry in motion.  His maneuvers in the ring was so fluid and his character was refreshing.  Never once did he become a heel in the business.  He didn’t need to.  He was so beloved and I believed that he was his character.  I think he was and still as wholesome as he seems on TV.  His legendary matches with Randy Savage and Ric Flair was so great that it still makes it hard for today’s product to live up to.  He also groomed a future icon of the business, Steve Austin.  Austin and Steamboat had great matches as well.  Steamboat was so good, he did not need to be behind a microphone.  His actions got the message across.  He was a major inspiration for many future wrestlers.

3.)  “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes
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Dusty had to be the best person to ever hold a microphone.  Even better than Flair.  A lot of the time, Dream would really make the crowd listen to what he had to say.  Listen to his Hard Times speech!  Heck, go to YouTube and listen to any of his promos!  They’re fantastic!  You just don’t see that anymore.  Later on, he would take on the role of booking promotions like WCW and was behind some of the biggest moments in the company’s history.  He would go to WWE during his final years in their developmental brand and help new wrestlers with their character and definitely with their promo work.  A lot of the people in wrestling now credits their job on the Dream.  He died in 2015.

4.)  The Undertaker
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The Deadman has to be one of the best wrestlers ever.  He’s been World Champion seven times, but it’s not necessarily the number of championships that defines the wrestler.  He’s done everything in the business.  ‘Taker has been in the WWE for 26 years now and hasn’t retired yet.  He was an innovator for a number of specialty matches and gave tons of 5-star quality fights.  He’s evolved his character and also his style of fighting that it’s impossible to say that he’s become stale and boring.  Changing so much and keeping the interest alive is a testament to his work ethic and ability.

5.)  “Stone Cold” Steve Austin
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Stone Cold has to be one of the most iconic names in the business.  He’s one of those people recognized from a non-wrestling fan.  If you mention wresting, he comes up most of the time.  What he did in the late 1990s was something completely fresh and new to professional wrestling when he feuded with the owner of WWF, Vince McMahon.  Probably every working man’s fantasy of beating the life out of the boss.  He wasn’t technical in the ring.  He was a brawler and it was convincing enough for you to believe he was really a “tough S.O.B”.  He retired in 2003 due to an injury where be broke his neck years before.  He occasionally pops up on TV and when he does, the roof explodes.  Nobody can do that without having that natural ability to connect with the fans.

So, that’s my top five.  Disagree?  Let me know!!!